Tequila Eyes

Well, here's the first few chapters of Tequila Eyes (don't kill me for the weird title), the short story I'm writing for my sister. I wrote it all in one sitting yesterday T_T it needs so much work... it's mostly introspective and it's a little weird. If anyone could tell me what I need to do to fix it, I would love them forever...

Edit: I forgot that Atsushi and Yuki are Nakahara and Kojima's first names until now (from Little Butterfly). Please don't kill me for this stupid coincidence!

Title: Tequila Eyes
Rating: PG or so for now
Genre: romance/humor/drama
Characters: Takizawa Yuki, Suzushima Atsushi

Tequila Eyes

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitter descent
But I stayed up with you all night...
And I know how to save a life

( breaking this silence )